








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1374 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1604 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1450 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1104 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,024,692 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marc1v | 54% | 79 |
| #2 | MKroenke | 52% | 126 |
| #3 | flash | 50% | 92 |
| #4 | WheyMysterio | 50% | 141 |
| #5 | timfu | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | flash | 50% | 92 |
| #4 | WheyMysterio | 50% | 141 |
| #5 | timfu | 38% | 48 |
| #6 | Macito | 37% | 19 |
| #7 | OsitoNr.1 | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WheyMysterio | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | MKroenke | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | flash | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | timfu | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | OsitoNr.1 | 2 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WheyMysterio | 475 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | flash | 123 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | marc1v | 82 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | OsitoNr.1 | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | MKroenke | 42 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MKroenke | +2.39 | 80 | 47 |
| #2 | marc1v | +1.05 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | WheyMysterio | +0.74 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | flash | -0.06 | 72 | 51 |
| #5 | Ryoiki tenkai | -1.31 | 54 | 52 |





