








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
971 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 578 | 22% |
| Smokes | 809 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 841 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 401 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $352,224 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marc1v | 58% | 74 |
| #2 | WheyMysterio | 57% | 80 |
| #3 | MKroenke | 54% | 91 |
| #4 | Ryoiki tenkai | 50% | 92 |
| #5 | timfu | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marc1v | 58% | 74 |
| #2 | WheyMysterio | 57% | 80 |
| #3 | MKroenke | 54% | 91 |
| #4 | Ryoiki tenkai | 50% | 92 |
| #5 | timfu | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WheyMysterio | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | MKroenke | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | timfu | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WheyMysterio | 244 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | marc1v | 73 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Ryoiki tenkai | 59 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | MKroenke | 37 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | timfu | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MKroenke | +2.58 | 80 | 50 |
| #2 | marc1v | +0.69 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | WheyMysterio | +0.41 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | flash | +0.01 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | Ryoiki tenkai | -1.89 | 50 | 56 |





