








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 501 | 21% |
| Smokes | 739 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 422 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 701 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,379 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New York | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Кот бабушка ♡ | 82% | 17 |
| #3 | wex | 78% | 27 |
| #4 | ommeh | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | Jaykae :) | 72% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nayleev | 8 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | Jaykae :) | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Bogan | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | wex | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Кот бабушка ♡ | 3 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaykae :) | 292 | 0.35 | 7 min |
| #2 | wex | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | virtue | 47 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bogan | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nayleev | 17 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe yo mama | +3.97 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | Bogan | +3.27 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | ommeh | +3.26 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | Nayleev | +2.80 | 82 | 52 |
| #5 | Jaykae :) | +1.54 | 64 | 67 |





