








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 265 | 12% |
| Smokes | 641 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 887 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 348 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,415 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pipi | trading | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | joe yo mama | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Nakes | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | REAMS | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | Jaykae :) | 56% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bogan | 55% | 44 |
| #7 | wex | 53% | 59 |
| #8 | zer9 | 45% | 22 |
| #9 | Get Racc'd | 29% | 7 |
| #10 | Doorway | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bogan | 8 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | REAMS | 7 | 0.0186 |
| #3 | wex | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Jaykae :) | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Pipi | trading | 4 | 0.0219 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaykae :) | 334 | 0.39 | 8 min |
| #2 | wex | 127 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | zer9 | 89 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bogan | 72 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | joe yo mama | 70 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakes | +3.75 | 60 | 61 |
| #2 | Pipi | trading | +2.02 | 92 | 45 |
| #3 | Nayleev | +1.63 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | joe yo mama | +1.60 | 81 | 76 |
| #5 | Get Racc'd | +1.29 | 67 | 68 |





