








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3767 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3355 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2764 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2979 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $883,821 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jaykae :) | 60% | 107 |
| #8 | Bogan | 59% | 29 |
| #9 | ommeh | 58% | 115 |
| #10 | endcattt | 54% | 139 |
| #11 | HmmmNotNice | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bogan | 17 | 0.0309 |
| #2 | Saxxy | 11 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Jaykae :) | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | endcattt | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | ommeh | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaykae :) | 661 | 0.36 | 18 min |
| #2 | ommeh | 595 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #3 | endcattt | 465 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | zer9 | 264 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Saxxy | 134 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe yo mama | +5.63 | 91 | 67 |
| #2 | zer9 | +3.79 | 85 | 68 |
| #3 | endcattt | +2.67 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | Bogan | +2.44 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | Jaykae :) | +1.94 | 68 | 73 |





