








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4292 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3711 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3739 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3390 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3197 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $843,958 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fjørn | 50% | 180 |
| #2 | xhennis | 47% | 161 |
| #3 | Uratze | 46% | 297 |
| #4 | NaimLeZ | 42% | 191 |
| #5 | Vessel | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | xhennis | 47% | 161 |
| #3 | Uratze | 46% | 297 |
| #4 | NaimLeZ | 42% | 191 |
| #5 | Vessel | 34% | 32 |
| #6 | BOLVERK | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uratze | 22 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | fjørn | 19 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | xhennis | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | NaimLeZ | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | BOLVERK | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fjørn | 481 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | NaimLeZ | 277 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | Uratze | 275 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | xhennis | 118 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Vessel | 70 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat wit hat | +5.35 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | fjørn | +0.89 | 61 | 57 |
| #3 | xhennis | +0.24 | 71 | 38 |
| #4 | Vessel | -0.51 | 71 | 72 |
| #5 | NaimLeZ | -3.35 | 54 | 63 |





