








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 674 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1987 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2349 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3095 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1915 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,095,833 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1838 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat wit hat | 50% | 180 |
| #2 | Uratze | 47% | 222 |
| #3 | xhennis | 47% | 75 |
| #4 | NaimLeZ | 42% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat wit hat | 50% | 180 |
| #2 | Uratze | 47% | 222 |
| #3 | xhennis | 47% | 75 |
| #4 | NaimLeZ | 42% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uratze | 20 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | cat wit hat | 14 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | xhennis | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | NaimLeZ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat wit hat | 391 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Uratze | 205 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | NaimLeZ | 168 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | xhennis | 66 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat wit hat | +4.88 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | fjørn | +1.21 | 62 | 54 |
| #3 | xhennis | +0.13 | 70 | 41 |
| #4 | NaimLeZ | -2.97 | 53 | 61 |
| #5 | Uratze | -3.59 | 47 | 41 |





