








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 559 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3135 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3557 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3985 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3075 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $712,289 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaimLeZ | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | Egon Ohrschmalski | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | Malte44 | 49% | 152 |
| #4 | Uratze | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | BOLVERK | 43% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malte44 | 400 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | BOLVERK | 295 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | S35HPÄR1 | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Egon Ohrschmalski | 81 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Uratze | 77 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat wit hat | +5.23 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | Vessel | +1.50 | 71 | 73 |
| #3 | Egon Ohrschmalski | +0.44 | 44 | 58 |
| #4 | Malte44 | -0.03 | 40 | 61 |
| #5 | S35HPÄR1 | -0.51 | 39 | 59 |





