








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 353 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,794 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4577 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3026 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3656 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3535 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,407,530 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 563 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tcola | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | vaiski | 59% | 190 |
| #3 | Hagrid | 55% | 273 |
| #4 | teppo223 | 55% | 176 |
| #5 | Cyanide | 55% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | teppo223 | 55% | 176 |
| #5 | Cyanide | 55% | 60 |
| #6 | subutex willer | 53% | 297 |
| #7 | KaaQ | 51% | 191 |
| #8 | naB | 51% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyanide | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Hagrid | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | vaiski | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | subutex willer | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | naB | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hagrid | 1388 | 0.23 | 41 min |
| #2 | subutex willer | 1297 | 0.20 | 40 min |
| #3 | teppo223 | 697 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #4 | vaiski | 675 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #5 | naB | 572 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vaiski | +2.21 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | nanu | +1.57 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | teppo223 | +1.48 | 79 | 77 |
| #4 | Hagrid | +0.90 | 79 | 80 |
| #5 | subutex willer | -0.05 | 66 | 82 |





