








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1037 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 214 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3259 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2568 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2372 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3151 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2790 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $887,148 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hagrid | 61% | 135 |
| #2 | nanu | 59% | 190 |
| #3 | teppo223 | 58% | 91 |
| #4 | Cyanide | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | KaaQ | 57% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | teppo223 | 58% | 91 |
| #4 | Cyanide | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | KaaQ | 57% | 122 |
| #6 | subutex willer | 55% | 168 |
| #7 | naB | 55% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyanide | 5 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | nanu | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Hagrid | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | subutex willer | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | naB | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nanu | 988 | 0.24 | 27 min |
| #2 | subutex willer | 830 | 0.23 | 26 min |
| #3 | Hagrid | 803 | 0.28 | 23 min |
| #4 | teppo223 | 359 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | naB | 323 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vaiski | +2.37 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | teppo223 | +1.46 | 77 | 78 |
| #3 | nanu | +1.36 | 79 | 65 |
| #4 | Hagrid | +0.58 | 77 | 77 |
| #5 | subutex willer | -0.29 | 66 | 81 |





