








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 870 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 659 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10458 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8513 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7796 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8033 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,566,228 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mGiTsi | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | vaiski | 55% | 168 |
| #3 | nanu | 53% | 297 |
| #4 | teppo223 | 52% | 491 |
| #5 | tcola | 52% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | tcola | 52% | 60 |
| #6 | Hagrid | 50% | 567 |
| #7 | KaaQ | 50% | 414 |
| #8 | viseN | 50% | 153 |
| #9 | naB | 49% | 354 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hagrid | 6 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | nanu | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | teppo223 | 4 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | naB | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | KaaQ | 2 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hagrid | 2932 | 0.24 | 93 min |
| #2 | teppo223 | 1964 | 0.18 | 52 min |
| #3 | nanu | 1398 | 0.22 | 41 min |
| #4 | KaaQ | 978 | 0.11 | 31 min |
| #5 | naB | 788 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teppo223 | +1.68 | 77 | 77 |
| #2 | vaiski | +1.64 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | nanu | +1.30 | 79 | 65 |
| #4 | viseN | +0.83 | 63 | 76 |
| #5 | Hagrid | +0.83 | 79 | 79 |





