








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2707 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2911 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2896 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1876 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,364,661 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 846 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Miguel | 48% | 64 |
| #6 | harpo0n | 48% | 155 |
| #7 | eRm0 | 48% | 128 |
| #8 | Leti | 47% | 53 |
| #9 | jdt | 47% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | harpo0n | 23 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | eRm0 | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Miguel | 11 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | jdt | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Scorpiadri | 4 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eRm0 | 945 | 0.34 | 25 min |
| #2 | harpo0n | 915 | 0.27 | 20 min |
| #3 | Leti | 303 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #4 | jdt | 250 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Miguel | 161 | 0.12 | 4 min |





