








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 365 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 366 | 18% |
| Smokes | 262 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 872 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 522 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $361,014 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sloncher | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | TRUCKER DADDY | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | CrashedAce | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | Frost | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | MAKTAVISH | 43% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MAKTAVISH | 43% | 77 |
| #6 | Alonzo Harris | 42% | 81 |
| #7 | Liquid | 40% | 63 |
| #8 | Bones McGee | 36% | 25 |
| #9 | ogan | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alonzo Harris | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Sloncher | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ogan | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAKTAVISH | 340 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | TRUCKER DADDY | 254 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #3 | CrashedAce | 139 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Liquid | 138 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sloncher | 60 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr pype | +4.10 | 84 | 33 |
| #2 | Sloncher | +0.28 | 37 | 51 |
| #3 | CrashedAce | -0.48 | 58 | 68 |
| #4 | TRUCKER DADDY | -1.06 | 52 | 54 |
| #5 | Alonzo Harris | -1.45 | 22 | 25 |





