








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 572 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 407 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7452 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5897 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4853 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5154 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,325 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 553 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y S R | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Keng | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | *DEAD* Brokas | 58% | 159 |
| #4 | Wolf of Watsonville | 57% | 122 |
| #5 | Sneed from Corporate | 55% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | CNTRL | 54% | 46 |
| #7 | bOX | 46% | 205 |
| #8 | s1lence | 41% | 29 |
| #9 | fample | 38% | 50 |
| #10 | 3xo | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneed from Corporate | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Wolf of Watsonville | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | *DEAD* Brokas | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | CNTRL | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *DEAD* Brokas | 993 | 0.28 | 28 min |
| #2 | Sneed from Corporate | 767 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #3 | Keng | 278 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #4 | Wolf of Watsonville | 228 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | bOX | 182 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y S R | +4.71 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | Keng | +2.03 | 79 | 81 |
| #3 | *DEAD* Brokas | +1.18 | 76 | 77 |
| #4 | MtB_ | +0.31 | 70 | 76 |
| #5 | Sneed from Corporate | -0.09 | 71 | 77 |





