








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 198 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,443 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3840 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3273 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3029 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3301 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $508,293 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keng | 63% | 62 |
| #2 | Wolf of Watsonville | 58% | 118 |
| #3 | *DEAD* Brokas | 56% | 158 |
| #4 | MtB_ | 55% | 174 |
| #5 | CNTRL | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | *DEAD* Brokas | 56% | 158 |
| #4 | MtB_ | 55% | 174 |
| #5 | CNTRL | 53% | 45 |
| #6 | bOX | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | fample | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *DEAD* Brokas | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Wolf of Watsonville | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | MtB_ | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Keng | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | CNTRL | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *DEAD* Brokas | 961 | 0.27 | 26 min |
| #2 | MtB_ | 699 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #3 | Keng | 300 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #4 | Wolf of Watsonville | 235 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | CNTRL | 122 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keng | +1.99 | 80 | 81 |
| #2 | *DEAD* Brokas | +1.09 | 76 | 76 |
| #3 | MtB_ | -0.21 | 67 | 76 |
| #4 | Sneed from Corporate | -0.22 | 72 | 75 |
| #5 | Wolf of Watsonville | -0.41 | 59 | 64 |





