








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2059 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1326 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2418 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2372 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2533 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $928,602 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | m | 44% | 215 |
| #8 | pancake | 44% | 131 |
| #9 | smitty | 40% | 48 |
| #10 | MaNiFeST DeSTiNY | 34% | 29 |
| #11 | sdo | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pancake | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | m | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Jadsta | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | zoinx | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Gazoon | 4 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m | 421 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | zoinx | 374 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | pancake | 272 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jadsta | 208 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Zekeee | 106 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zoinx | +2.83 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Gazoon | +1.19 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | m | +1.19 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | Jadsta | +0.97 | 69 | 58 |
| #5 | smitty | +0.39 | 73 | 64 |





