








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 613 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2608 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1932 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4001 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3257 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,848,609 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 802 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | benny the skid | 45% | 141 |
| #9 | m | 45% | 268 |
| #10 | MaNiFeST DeSTiNY | 44% | 72 |
| #11 | sdo | 44% | 39 |
| #12 | smitty | 33% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benny the skid | 13 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | pancake | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | m | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | zoinx | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | b' | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m | 533 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | zoinx | 515 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | pancake | 307 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | b' | 238 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | dramatron | 181 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b' | +4.17 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | zoinx | +2.25 | 84 | 67 |
| #3 | dramatron | +1.71 | 82 | 71 |
| #4 | Gazoon | +0.85 | 76 | 58 |
| #5 | Jadsta | +0.60 | 67 | 58 |





