








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 815 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1225 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2311 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2063 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2410 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,633,760 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 497 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NIL | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | The sad king | 11 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Pedro | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Tralalero Tralala | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | tidneB | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | 443 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | The sad king | 262 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | nob | 227 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Pedro | 223 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Tralalero Tralala | 142 | 0.08 | 2 min |





