








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 395 | 23% |
| Smokes | 463 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 374 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 505 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $149,668 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENIGMA | 45% | 65 |
| #2 | SevusLeute | 38% | 16 |
| #3 | ✪ Nalar | 35% | 20 |
| #4 | ✪ j4-iwnl | 30% | 10 |
| #5 | aWsM | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENIGMA | 45% | 65 |
| #2 | SevusLeute | 38% | 16 |
| #3 | ✪ Nalar | 35% | 20 |
| #4 | ✪ j4-iwnl | 30% | 10 |
| #5 | aWsM | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Nalar | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | aWsM | 2 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ENIGMA | 253 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | ✪ Nalar | 80 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | SevusLeute | 44 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | aWsM | 23 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | ✪ j4-iwnl | 6 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Nalar | +0.73 | 58 | 75 |
| #2 | ENIGMA | +0.59 | 81 | 80 |
| #3 | Hansi | +0.58 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | aWsM | -0.35 | 81 | 76 |
| #5 | ✪ j4-iwnl | -0.64 | 73 | 46 |





