








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 330 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6982 | 40% |
| Smokes | 4347 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3789 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2530 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $525,401 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marv | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | bilb0r | 52% | 221 |
| #3 | ✪ Nalar | 52% | 135 |
| #4 | ENIGMA | 52% | 159 |
| #5 | Moeppens | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bilb0r | 52% | 221 |
| #3 | ✪ Nalar | 52% | 135 |
| #4 | ENIGMA | 52% | 159 |
| #5 | Moeppens | 49% | 37 |
| #6 | SevusLeute | 43% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Nalar | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | bilb0r | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Marv | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | ENIGMA | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | SevusLeute | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bilb0r | 1003 | 0.21 | 29 min |
| #2 | ENIGMA | 856 | 0.26 | 25 min |
| #3 | ✪ Nalar | 700 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #4 | SevusLeute | 215 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Moeppens | 147 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aWsM | +1.07 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | Marv | +0.74 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | ENIGMA | +0.58 | 73 | 79 |
| #4 | ✪ Nalar | +0.30 | 61 | 70 |
| #5 | bilb0r | -0.48 | 73 | 80 |





