








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 629 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6152 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4827 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4984 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3773 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,046,140 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 897 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEWYYY | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | steVwanderer | 66% | 41 |
| #3 | Kevip | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | Rossi | 63% | 185 |
| #5 | Toxicoo | 57% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kevip | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | Rossi | 63% | 185 |
| #5 | Toxicoo | 57% | 46 |
| #6 | Lystr1x | 55% | 58 |
| #7 | Aleksic | 55% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxicoo | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Rossi | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | steVwanderer | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | SEWYYY | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rossi | 519 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Toxicoo | 112 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Aleksic | 91 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | steVwanderer | 89 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | SEWYYY | 72 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeXoN. | +2.29 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | SEWYYY | +1.94 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | steVwanderer | +1.29 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | Lystr1x | -0.35 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | Rossi | -0.64 | 47 | 64 |





