








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 531 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 293 matches | ||
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4779 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4240 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3511 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3099 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,247,683 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeXoN. | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | Lystr1x | 51% | 295 |
| #3 | La Araña | 49% | 266 |
| #4 | Aleksic | 48% | 376 |
| #5 | Naburus | 48% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | La Araña | 49% | 266 |
| #4 | Aleksic | 48% | 376 |
| #5 | Naburus | 48% | 175 |
| #6 | emiL | 47% | 313 |
| #7 | Rossi | 46% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emiL | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Lystr1x | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | La Araña | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Aleksic | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Naburus | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleksic | 797 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #2 | emiL | 773 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #3 | La Araña | 525 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #4 | Naburus | 474 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #5 | Lystr1x | 365 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeXoN. | +2.89 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | SEWYYY | +1.74 | 67 | 67 |
| #3 | La Araña | +1.14 | 80 | 62 |
| #4 | Lystr1x | -0.03 | 69 | 58 |
| #5 | emiL | -0.05 | 66 | 68 |





