








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 596 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 277 matches | ||
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2444 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2846 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6311 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 3560 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,456,250 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeXoN. | 55% | 58 |
| #2 | Naburus | 52% | 152 |
| #3 | La Araña | 51% | 232 |
| #4 | SEWYYY | 51% | 295 |
| #5 | Aleksic | 50% | 410 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | La Araña | 51% | 232 |
| #4 | SEWYYY | 51% | 295 |
| #5 | Aleksic | 50% | 410 |
| #6 | emiL | 49% | 317 |
| #7 | Rossi | 41% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emiL | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Aleksic | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | SEWYYY | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | La Araña | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Rossi | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleksic | 859 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #2 | SEWYYY | 806 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | emiL | 751 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #4 | La Araña | 456 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #5 | Naburus | 394 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeXoN. | +3.18 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | SEWYYY | +1.69 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | La Araña | +1.23 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | emiL | +0.06 | 68 | 67 |
| #5 | Lystr1x | -0.02 | 71 | 58 |





