








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,257 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1802 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1684 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1167 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1604 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $386,074 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | chipohippo | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Frosty | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | Menace | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | leekb0b | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | -Dinked | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | lyons | 49% | 45 |
| #9 | 1ARMgod | 46% | 46 |
| #10 | Kanny | 43% | 70 |
| #11 | ✪ Heroic🎃 | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asian kid | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Kanny | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | 1ARMgod | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Frosty | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ✪ Heroic🎃 | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanny | 408 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #2 | lyons | 155 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | 1ARMgod | 138 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Frosty | 138 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Asian kid | 74 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General | +3.59 | 97 | 77 |
| #2 | Menace | +2.96 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | Frosty | +2.85 | 74 | 78 |
| #4 | zurrp | +1.32 | 82 | 70 |
| #5 | -Dinked | +0.43 | 87 | 66 |





