








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 425 | 30% |
| Smokes | 403 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 221 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 389 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,062 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rickylicious | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | GiL Steel | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | GiL Weo | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | CJShermn8r | 50% | 68 |
| #5 | TRuSL | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | CJShermn8r | 50% | 68 |
| #5 | TRuSL | 49% | 49 |
| #6 | ChubbThumper | 49% | 80 |
| #7 | Bob | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | David Sundgren | 40% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRuSL | 15 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | ChubbThumper | 12 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | CJShermn8r | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | David Sundgren | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Bob | 3 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChubbThumper | 178 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | David Sundgren | 132 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | TRuSL | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | CJShermn8r | 67 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bob | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GiL Weo | +3.28 | 36 | 68 |
| #2 | ChubbThumper | +2.41 | 78 | 50 |
| #3 | TRuSL | +1.65 | 80 | 60 |
| #4 | Rickylicious | +0.39 | 66 | 66 |
| #5 | Kerffu | +0.39 | 64 | 47 |





