








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 846 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1008 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1137 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1161 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,722,433 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRuSL | 51% | 111 |
| #2 | ChubbThumper | 50% | 149 |
| #3 | Kerffu | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | President Bird | 49% | 230 |
| #5 | Bob | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | President Bird | +4.34 | 93 | 55 |
| #2 | ChubbThumper | +2.59 | 81 | 49 |
| #3 | TRuSL | +2.08 | 81 | 68 |
| #4 | Kerffu | -0.02 | 63 | 47 |
| #5 | CJShermn8r | -0.32 | 75 | 32 |





