










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 205 | 19% |
| Smokes | 142 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 507 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 204 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $624,345 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sole survivor | 49% | 53 |
| #2 | Mazio | 46% | 54 |
| #3 | fartman | 44% | 100 |
| #4 | Johnny Lawrence | 42% | 33 |
| #5 | Ginormous giga max Jake | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mazio | 9 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Sole survivor | 9 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | fartman | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | The Courier | 8 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Johnny Lawrence | 8 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Lawrence | +3.51 | 76 | 40 |
| #2 | fartman | +3.34 | 68 | 48 |
| #3 | Mazio | +2.33 | 71 | 35 |
| #4 | Sole survivor | +1.85 | 45 | 42 |
| #5 | The Courier | -1.01 | 44 | 48 |





