








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 482 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 421 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7373 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6224 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3037 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5480 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,057,123 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kalju homo | 44% | 273 |
| #8 | RouvaG | 42% | 262 |
| #9 | P.O.T.U.S. | 41% | 239 |
| #10 | MOTIA ETSIMÄSSÄ | 41% | 59 |
| #11 | TuukkA | 32% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mäkkärin tupla kaista | 77 | 0.0284 |
| #2 | 賓士享受者 | 74 | 0.0260 |
| #3 | Kalju homo | 39 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | P.O.T.U.S. | 32 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | RouvaG | 28 | 0.0054 |





