








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 627 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9783 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8165 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7094 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5689 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,347,522 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kalju homo | 52% | 205 |
| #4 | Duffi | 41% | 239 |
| #5 | Rankaisija | 41% | 80 |
| #6 | 賓士享受者 | 39% | 71 |
| #7 | TuukkA | 33% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mäkkärin tupla kaista | 83 | 0.0258 |
| #2 | Kalju homo | 40 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | 賓士享受者 | 26 | 0.0203 |
| #4 | Duffi | 17 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Rankaisija | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mäkkärin tupla kaista | 1006 | 0.31 | 20 min |
| #2 | Duffi | 702 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #3 | Kalju homo | 333 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | TuukkA | 249 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | 賓士享受者 | 203 | 0.16 | 4 min |





