








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 122 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3648 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3481 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4958 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4335 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $482,340 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 943 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mork | 63% | 38 |
| #2 | ChaDDeRs | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | :} | 57% | 286 |
| #4 | zefee | 55% | 318 |
| #5 | slowdv | 52% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ChaDDeRs | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | :} | 57% | 286 |
| #4 | zefee | 55% | 318 |
| #5 | slowdv | 52% | 239 |
| #6 | Salt | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :} | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | zefee | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | slowdv | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Salt | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | mork | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slowdv | 446 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | zefee | 280 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | :} | 120 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | ChaDDeRs | 29 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Salt | 24 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crekkkk- | +2.14 | 89 | 62 |
| #2 | :} | +2.10 | 90 | 47 |
| #3 | slowdv | +0.42 | 68 | 56 |
| #4 | ChaDDeRs | -0.69 | 72 | 52 |
| #5 | mork | -1.48 | 49 | 66 |





