








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1803 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1712 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1913 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1013 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $249,386 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :} | 69% | 51 |
| #2 | slowdv | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | crekkkk- | 63% | 38 |
| #4 | Eulogy | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | zefee | 56% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | oknotok | 55% | 11 |
| #8 | Pricy | 50% | 8 |
| #9 | Blood | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | Mif | 38% | 8 |
| #11 | Setsail | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salt | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | zefee | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | :} | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | crekkkk- | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | oknotok | 2 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zefee | 324 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Salt | 275 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | crekkkk- | 122 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | slowdv | 90 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | :} | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :} | +4.26 | 90 | 46 |
| #2 | crekkkk- | +2.55 | 89 | 62 |
| #3 | oknotok | +2.20 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | Eulogy | +1.89 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | slowdv | +0.80 | 69 | 58 |





