








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8060 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6070 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7946 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7477 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,512,109 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 446 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaNda | 31 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Patryko96 | 22 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Kapitan | 19 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ♿♿SynneK♿♿ | 16 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | MrCrael | 10 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaNda | 2129 | 0.21 | 62 min |
| #2 | Patryko96 | 1652 | 0.19 | 44 min |
| #3 | Kapitan | 1185 | 0.13 | 31 min |
| #4 | gorol | 561 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #5 | MrCrael | 515 | 0.11 | 14 min |





