








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2019 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 567 matches | ||
| Faceit | 455 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 350 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,639 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14189 | 31% |
| Smokes | 14402 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3697 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 13351 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,206,914 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2866 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •BeamMy• | 91% | 92 |
| #2 | ende. | 88% | 153 |
| #3 | sherwin | 85% | 95 |
| #4 | Poker BuBu | 84% | 108 |
| #5 | ✪ Beast | 83% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | -SN | 73% | 110 |
| #11 | wungus | 71% | 119 |
| #12 | scapederp | 71% | 201 |
| #13 | >:( | 69% | 314 |
| #14 | ✪ Vern | 62% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sohai lanjiao gugubird | 31 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | >:( | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | scapederp | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | •BeamMy• | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | -SN | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >:( | 1241 | 0.19 | 28 min |
| #2 | sohai lanjiao gugubird | 1109 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #3 | ✪ Beast | 809 | 0.37 | 20 min |
| #4 | Poker BuBu | 534 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #5 | ende. | 514 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ende. | +4.52 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | Poker BuBu | +3.43 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | P0iS0N0uS | +2.97 | 90 | 54 |
| #4 | ✪ Beast | +2.74 | 81 | 70 |
| #5 | scapederp | +2.70 | 82 | 55 |





