








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1058 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 416 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6680 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5437 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6544 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1727 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,392,149 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 493 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S.A.S.11 | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | Kitler | 55% | 91 |
| #3 | Mentha | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | TiTo | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | β π
Άπ
΄π π
³π
Ύππ
½ β | 52% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friedhelm Winter | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Kitler | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | 4N4K1N | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | β π
Άπ
΄π π
³π
Ύππ
½ β | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Ol4yosh | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zokie | +2.22 | 49 | 62 |
| #2 | Friedhelm Winter | +1.93 | 29 | 70 |
| #3 | Vendetta | +0.68 | 33 | 63 |
| #4 | Ol4yosh | +0.36 | 40 | 42 |
| #5 | S.A.S.11 | +0.31 | 7 | 43 |





