








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1409 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1594 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1236 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1111 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,941 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shigu | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | Kitsu ໒꒱ | 85% | 13 |
| #3 | Tropical Fruit | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | Zombanator | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | ViperFish | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tropical Fruit | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | Zombanator | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | ViperFish | 57% | 7 |
| #6 | Maxxen | 54% | 13 |
| #7 | tejAs | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ViperFish | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tejAs | 55 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Maxxen | 48 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | ViperFish | 45 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kitsu ໒꒱ | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zombanator | 28 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ViperFish | +5.41 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | Maxxen | +2.92 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | Zombanator | +2.05 | 72 | 68 |
| #4 | Kitsu ໒꒱ | +1.99 | 46 | 59 |
| #5 | shigu | +0.93 | 83 | 63 |





