








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3492 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2072 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2401 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1948 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $626,287 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freeze | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | ViperFish | 67% | 60 |
| #3 | .. | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | biggens | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | falcow | 63% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pesso | 17 | 0.0237 |
| #2 | ViperFish | 16 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | biggens | 11 | 0.0263 |
| #4 | Huskmini | 7 | 0.0163 |
| #5 | shigu | 6 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ViperFish | 379 | 0.30 | 10 min |
| #2 | shigu | 175 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | falcow | 146 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | pesso | 138 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | .iggy | 125 | 0.13 | 4 min |





