








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 339 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2115 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1565 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1534 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1513 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1242 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $623,249 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tropical Fruit | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Kitsu ໒꒱ | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | cyb3rb3m0n | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Just Seán | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | shigu | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | kyoto | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | pesso | 42% | 57 |
| #12 | apple | 41% | 17 |
| #13 | TbsKiritoS | 38% | 29 |
| #14 | ✪ Gabe | 36% | 14 |





