








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 468 | 14% |
| Smokes | 934 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 902 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1069 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,724 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RailiMummo | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Mahmoud | 76% | 33 |
| #3 | mape | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | hiskihidodd | 71% | 55 |
| #5 | Xhydro17 | 67% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Deku | 67% | 63 |
| #7 | spypas3 | 64% | 39 |
| #8 | tempora. | 50% | 6 |
| #9 | aleK | 50% | 8 |
| #10 | Roccaw | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deku | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | hiskihidodd | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | spypas3 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | RailiMummo | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deku | 186 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | hiskihidodd | 158 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mahmoud | 91 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | spypas3 | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Xhydro17 | 50 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mape | +2.40 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | krisu! | +2.16 | 72 | 49 |
| #3 | Deku | +1.55 | 84 | 67 |
| #4 | hiskihidodd | +0.77 | 61 | 77 |
| #5 | Mahmoud | +0.44 | 73 | 69 |





