








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2691 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2078 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2945 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3862 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,067,823 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krisu! | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | hiskihidodd | 58% | 227 |
| #3 | Roccaw | 56% | 59 |
| #4 | RailiMummo | 54% | 99 |
| #5 | Deku | 53% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mahmoud | 52% | 159 |
| #7 | Proto | 51% | 123 |
| #8 | Jello | 48% | 77 |
| #9 | mape | 44% | 32 |
| #10 | aleK | 37% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deku | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | aleK | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Mahmoud | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Proto | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | RailiMummo | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hiskihidodd | 886 | 0.18 | 26 min |
| #2 | Mahmoud | 392 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Deku | 372 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Proto | 256 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jello | 195 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krisu! | +2.77 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | mape | +2.01 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | Deku | +1.43 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | hiskihidodd | +1.01 | 63 | 74 |
| #5 | Proto | +0.63 | 79 | 57 |





