








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
803 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 342 | 21% |
| Smokes | 282 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 481 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 536 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $346,457 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ka3deay | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Joshi | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Sleepy | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | FaZe Scarlet | 59% | 51 |
| #5 | mrkanek1(i like gothmommys) | 58% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sleepy | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | FaZe Scarlet | 59% | 51 |
| #5 | mrkanek1(i like gothmommys) | 58% | 36 |
| #6 | O Weiwei👺 | 57% | 21 |
| #7 | 𝓢𝓬𝓸𝓹𝓮𝓭 | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaZe Scarlet | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Sleepy | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mrkanek1(i like gothmommys) | 84 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | FaZe Scarlet | 80 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | O Weiwei👺 | 67 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Joshi | 26 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | ka3deay | 19 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓢𝓬𝓸𝓹𝓮𝓭 | +2.20 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | ka3deay | +1.87 | 65 | 74 |
| #3 | mrkanek1(i like gothmommys) | +1.30 | 79 | 35 |
| #4 | GSG9 Patrizir | +0.14 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | FaZe Scarlet | -0.13 | 63 | 56 |





