








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1125 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1374 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1095 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1578 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $580,386 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | na | 57% | 67 |
| #2 | JT | 45% | 62 |
| #3 | gwill | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | Big_Ben | 43% | 28 |
| #5 | Smooth | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sean | 38% | 21 |
| #7 | Udder Spinner | 36% | 14 |
| #8 | Y 3 3 T | 33% | 39 |
| #9 | ✪ F3DerAL | 27% | 15 |
| #10 | oKoL | 25% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | na | 10 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | oKoL | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Y 3 3 T | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | JT | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | sean | 3 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | na | 178 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | JT | 144 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪ F3DerAL | 82 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | oKoL | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | sean | 57 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | na | +4.47 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | KJL | +0.96 | 60 | 58 |
| #3 | gwill | +0.86 | 58 | 38 |
| #4 | oKoL | +0.81 | 87 | 44 |
| #5 | Smooth | -0.17 | 68 | 59 |





