








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1327 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1099 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1531 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1673 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,713,971 of utility $255 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cory | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Unsnappy | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | $upahh | 50% | 70 |
| #4 | 520 | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | Freshly shitted underwear | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | masor | 41% | 61 |
| #10 | Evan | 41% | 54 |
| #11 | hdzywOo | 40% | 70 |
| #12 | stm | 37% | 38 |
| #13 | Richter | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eoN | 21 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Zahzi | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | aesor | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | $upahh | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Freshly shitted underwear | 5 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eoN | 936 | 0.15 | 30 min |
| #2 | Zahzi | 587 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | $upahh | 333 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | Freshly shitted underwear | 253 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #5 | aesor | 217 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cory | +3.24 | 79 | 46 |
| #2 | masor | +2.39 | 86 | 59 |
| #3 | Unsnappy | +1.95 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | Richter | +1.77 | 85 | 50 |
| #5 | eoN | +1.70 | 87 | 62 |





