








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2594 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2093 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1489 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 368 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $397,610 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Breeze | 47% | 17 |
| #2 | SaNtiA | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Tiny Peanut Butter | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | Ronnie Coleman's Nephew | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | AgentE0464 | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ronnie Coleman's Nephew | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | AgentE0464 | 39% | 18 |
| #6 | Papiichulo | 38% | 61 |
| #7 | Little Michael Jackson | 30% | 27 |
| #8 | ♡⊹˚₊chips₊˚⊹♡ | 28% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papiichulo | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ♡⊹˚₊chips₊˚⊹♡ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | AgentE0464 | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Breeze | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Tiny Peanut Butter | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papiichulo | 94 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tiny Peanut Butter | 89 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | AgentE0464 | 89 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Little Michael Jackson | 88 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Breeze | 64 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AgentE0464 | +1.94 | 46 | 67 |
| #2 | Egg | +1.91 | 70 | 53 |
| #3 | SaNtiA | +1.41 | 86 | 38 |
| #4 | Papiichulo | -0.52 | 54 | 27 |
| #5 | Ronnie Coleman's Nephew | -0.98 | 31 | 19 |





