










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1099 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1495 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 852 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1372 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $623,356 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lusr | 45% | 33 |
| #2 | T A K Y O N | 42% | 31 |
| #3 | AbyssWalker | 39% | 95 |
| #4 | 55winner | 37% | 78 |
| #5 | beanybaby | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fetal Messi | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | T A K Y O N | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | beanybaby | 4 | 0.0196 |
| #4 | Lusr | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | AbyssWalker | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T A K Y O N | 319 | 0.53 | 8 min |
| #2 | Fetal Messi | 121 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | AbyssWalker | 107 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | 55winner | 76 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lusr | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |





