








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1027 | 25% |
| Smokes | 654 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1066 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1415 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $951,513 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lusr | 41% | 85 |
| #2 | 55winner | 39% | 191 |
| #3 | Remitheratatoullie | 39% | 62 |
| #4 | AbyssWalker | 35% | 109 |
| #5 | beanybaby | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | AbyssWalker | 35% | 109 |
| #5 | beanybaby | 34% | 29 |
| #6 | Azcanta | 30% | 70 |
| #7 | Fuck Savoy | 29% | 31 |
| #8 | T A K Y O N | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lusr | 17 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Azcanta | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | beanybaby | 6 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | 55winner | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Fuck Savoy | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T A K Y O N | 288 | 0.48 | 6 min |
| #2 | 55winner | 174 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Azcanta | 148 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | AbyssWalker | 111 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | beanybaby | 104 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T A K Y O N | +5.87 | 88 | 77 |
| #2 | beanybaby | +1.53 | 49 | 68 |
| #3 | Lusr | +1.49 | 59 | 31 |
| #4 | Azcanta | -0.44 | 25 | 57 |
| #5 | AbyssWalker | -1.54 | 30 | 29 |





