










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 101 | 20% |
| Smokes | 273 | 53% |
| HE Grenades | 17 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 126 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,746 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lusr | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | AbyssWalker | 47% | 81 |
| #3 | 55winner | 40% | 67 |
| #4 | Fetal Messi | 39% | 62 |
| #5 | Azcanta | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | AbyssWalker | 47% | 81 |
| #3 | 55winner | 40% | 67 |
| #4 | Fetal Messi | 39% | 62 |
| #5 | Azcanta | 35% | 34 |
| #6 | Fuck Savoy | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fetal Messi | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Lusr | 2 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | AbyssWalker | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | 55winner | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Azcanta | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fetal Messi | 115 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | AbyssWalker | 68 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Azcanta | 62 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | 55winner | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fuck Savoy | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azcanta | +0.73 | 24 | 55 |
| #2 | 55winner | -0.11 | 41 | 21 |
| #3 | AbyssWalker | -0.28 | 35 | 28 |
| #4 | Lusr | -0.31 | 63 | 30 |
| #5 | Fetal Messi | -0.37 | 48 | 40 |





