








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 325 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6968 | 39% |
| Smokes | 5282 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4473 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 918 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,678,214 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImDallas | 45% | 33 |
| #2 | NeverSatisfried | 45% | 42 |
| #3 | STALKER | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | KennY | 43% | 180 |
| #5 | boogie⭕⃤ | 43% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boogie⭕⃤ | 15 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | KennY | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Lobster | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | NeverSatisfried | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | STALKER | 3 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lobster | 314 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | KennY | 228 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | ImDallas | 200 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #4 | boogie⭕⃤ | 160 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | NeverSatisfried | 152 | 0.17 | 3 min |





