








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1013 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1092 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 588 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 989 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $364,765 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sin | 54% | 65 |
| #2 | aerowalk | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | RASCAL | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | WRETCHED | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | panic | 47% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | NAMELESS | 45% | 65 |
| #7 | lll | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | skeelz | 42% | 33 |
| #9 | mooreontap | 42% | 26 |
| #10 | BETELGEUSE | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAMELESS | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Sin | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | panic | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | RASCAL | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | skeelz | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAMELESS | 243 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Sin | 222 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | panic | 209 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | RASCAL | 101 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | mooreontap | 70 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lll | +2.09 | 64 | 55 |
| #2 | NAMELESS | +1.80 | 77 | 70 |
| #3 | Sin | +1.41 | 62 | 60 |
| #4 | aerowalk | +1.28 | 73 | 74 |
| #5 | BETELGEUSE | +0.20 | 80 | 58 |





