








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 843 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 315 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3863 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2855 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2932 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2889 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,649,327 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sin | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | lll | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | BETELGEUSE | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | MeaL | 47% | 66 |
| #5 | mooreontap | 47% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAMELESS | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | mooreontap | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | MeaL | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | RASCAL | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | skeelz | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAMELESS | 896 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #2 | lll | 342 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #3 | RASCAL | 316 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | MeaL | 201 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | mooreontap | 188 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lll | +2.86 | 67 | 61 |
| #2 | NAMELESS | +1.54 | 74 | 71 |
| #3 | Sin | +1.47 | 63 | 60 |
| #4 | BETELGEUSE | +0.98 | 77 | 69 |
| #5 | panic | +0.64 | 69 | 58 |





