








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 975 | 28% |
| Smokes | 818 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 615 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1075 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $486,035 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HideME | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | rellüM | 76% | 21 |
| #3 | mythe | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | HAGRID | 74% | 27 |
| #5 | shukketxu | 64% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | NK | 50% | 8 |
| #10 | ReY | 50% | 24 |
| #11 | Patr1ck5tar | 45% | 11 |
| #12 | Femi | 42% | 36 |
| #13 | P1ti-IWNL | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScareD. | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | shukketxu | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | rellüM | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Femi | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ReY | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScareD. | 368 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | shukketxu | 225 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | HAGRID | 105 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | rellüM | 80 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | P1ti-IWNL | 61 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rellüM | +3.66 | 66 | 81 |
| #2 | gauNN | +1.71 | 82 | 54 |
| #3 | shukketxu | +1.19 | 86 | 53 |
| #4 | HAGRID | +1.01 | 71 | 71 |
| #5 | ScareD. | +0.78 | 83 | 64 |





